I hear the humming of warm air rushing through vents somewhere beneath these floors. Nothing unusual, except for the awareness. This backdrop makes me sleepy in the same way standing in the line during busy shopping at the grocery does, or the way my mother’s sewing machine sings a lullaby with its steady climb up hills of thread and needles and fabric. I am one soul, One body, one mind. I am learning to sing my own song, I am learning to be thankful for all. This lonely pain surely must know its purpose. There must be some reason it has become a fixture in in my landscape. This inner life has been fostered since early childhood. This scene which has expanded mile upon mile, giving me more than what I need to keep on climbing. I want to see His face. I want to know Him. This True…Surely He wants to be found.
“You are dear.”
What a lovely thing to say to someone. There are few people in our lives who hold that role without question. They are open and soft and they love us. They also tell us the truth. They tell us without any judgement when they think we could try harder to mend a broken friendship. They find a way to get past the thorns growing around our hearts to isolate us. We trust the people who are dear to us. We do all this imperfectly. We stomp over and bump into other hearts all the time. But, love and forgiveness and thanksgiving are waiting for our surrender. It is easy to see where strength lies. It is easy to see how to love when we know we are loved. The few steps it takes to surrender to loving are worth the miles it took to get here. I wonder, if life would change with this being our most treasured priority? I wonder.
Inspired after watching Birdman – a very effective study of shadows…
We live in a world of shadows. Everything here of substance, casts a shadow. Its size and density is largely determined by the light source. As an artist, this is a constant source of interest. Learning how to see shadows has been rich and tireless. Shadows have grown in my understanding from being a necessary and intimidating task, to being a source of beauty and intrigue. Shadows can be the most beautiful part of a painting. A shadow in art is rarely the center of attention, but certainly can be the subtle actor which holds the objects of light in a composition to their task.
Art has proven itself to be a source of wisdom when paralleled with life. After years of studying, I have come to a new understanding of a shadow’s importance. I learn as much in studying an object’s shadow as I do in studying the light. I tell my students they are not painting objects, rather they are learning to be painters of light. I will amend this to include shadow. We are painters of light and shadow. We study the heart of both. Light is open and enriching. We gain nutrients from it. Light is a necessity for living. Shadows are generously given life by illumination. In some ways shadows give us a rest from reality. Shadows can be fantasy. At times, they hold our deepest secrets, our fears, or they can sing of a mysterious loveliness. They are the binding which holds us to this silent planet. It is time now, to make friends with the shadows in our lives. Time to stop fearing them. Let us find our shadows and trace them back to their light source. Our truth will set us free.
“Love is our destiny. We do not find the meaning of life alone, but rather with another.” Thomas Merton
From the moment of our birth, these are the waters we sail. The world has lost its clear definition of Love. So we are on a quest, seeking that which we no longer understand, often thinking we recognize something as Love, accepting that which bears only a resemblance. This is a story of such a journey. We offer you a map of sorts. Though, there is no defined route. We find ourselves having fallen into a deep crater lake, with no way out. Our choice is to learn to Love. In order to survive, we learn to rely on and trust another. We learn to freely give all that we have, while in return, we receive that which others have to offer.
Honey, I always thought you were wiser than I. Now I know you are just like me. Sometimes you know things…mostly you guess. My journey brought me straight into your path. You were shelter from the storm. Though nearly everything else has changed, one thing clearly has not. In this moment. You. Still. Hang the moon.
If this moment were music, it would be a symphony. Music so filled with gratitude that joy overtakes the notes. Takes them captive, dances in little whirlwinds. Coming together then moving apart. Rejoicing, rejoicing, again and again.
You’ve been drinking the same water for years. It tastes fine….
Until one day, you are handed a glass of pure, crystal clear water.
This is amazing! Unbelievable! You wonder what you’ve been drinking all these years. Was it even water?
So it is with love. When you experience a love that penetrates to your depth—love that knows, accepts, prefers, envelops, bestows, heals—then all that is not love is now perceptible.
We live in a murky realm. We attempt to give love. We long to receive love. But there are so many guards blocking the way.
Vulnerability would surely reveal the shame, insecurity, unworthiness that is buried deep within.
We spend precious energy protecting old wounds—energy that, if released, could nurture the love we crave.
But we don’t notice, and instead tolerate the familiar landscape. We drink the water we know.
Then love cracks open the door and shines its pure light, offering a glimpse of the truth we secretly hoped was there. We recognize the impurity and resignation of our lives. We now know what is possible.
Soul Organizer is a personal coaching service dedicated to help you to create and live your best life from the inside out. Belinda Lams is a personal life coach who specializes in Dreams & Goals, Life Transitions, and Grief Integration. She is certified through Refuah Institute in Jerusalem, Israel and is a trained Professional Organizer. She currently studies Spiritual Formation and Moral Psychology with Rabbi Mordecai Finley, Ph.D. in Los Angeles, CA.
Belinda is happily married to Jeff and is the proud mother to her grown son Jordan and her daughter Aria who is in heaven.
Contact firstname.lastname@example.org for a FREE 30-minute phone consultation
For more info, visit Soulorganizer.com or griefintegration.com